Jaws of the Greatest Hurt

If I could escape this feeling,
I would give what I had.
There is no help in healing,
For the feelings that are all sad.

To suffer this is earth’s great hell,
No fire, no brimstone
Only an agonizing knell
Of a feeling I don’t want to own.

To burn is not to suffer,
Nor is it to be encased in ice
Pain and sadness is far tougher
Not wanting any of this life.

I despair of my own life
Wanting all the hurt to stop
I have given up the fight
Sadness freezes me like a rock.

What is it like to be depressed
To suffer here
Unlike the rest
With all of the fear

It is to be separated from the light
And from all that is happy
It is to constantly embrace your plight
And view all sadly

There is no good in life
And only bad
But if I look, I might
See that others would envy all I had

So, there is guilt in this despair
Because it is undeserved
But still there
And it doesn’t go away with a word.

Where is the help for this feeling
That comes without sense
And there is no way of dealing
And there is no defense

Medications, therapy, and lots of talk
I can’t take it all
I can’t walk the walk
It never helps, though I am its thrall

Help me, someone, to fine a way to be
A corner of this life where I can be free
Let me see all that is good for me
And, oh, let me learn how to live happily.

Because I do not know.
I want to go.
But I stay for the show.
Because of tomorrow,
I do not know.

Depression is an ugly thing. I am fine, I am getting lots of help, but sometimes you just need to express it. This is how I decided to do it this time.

All we are is all we are

Attempting free verse and using inspiration for a random generator:

The heat is leaving
The feeling is ebbing away
I see shades flicker above the rain

So many roads to choose from
To what end
I seek only shelter
And look for safe road signs
Benign and common landmarks
But lose the way talking to myself

I need go where no one knows
A long, long way from home
From the country of my comfort
Where I toil to make my way
We are all brilliant beneath this dreamscape

And the feeling will come again, wary, alive
This day shall flee, misty before the air
And I will seek the road back, wondering why

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Words at Work: Time

This is another rondel attempt, but I'm not exactly happy with it. The refrain just doesn't flow like it does in my other rondels. It is that repeating phrase that makes the poem, IMHO. Thinking of my mom with this poem. Her time was certainly fleeting, dying at 51. Suggestions anyone?

Time is a fleeting curse to life.
It steals your love and desire.
It knows no mercy, only strife.
With not a one will it conspire.

It will steal both husband and wife.
It devours you entire.
Time is a fleeting curse to life.
It steals your love and desire.

In all your days it will be rife.
It may not take by flood or fire.
It dangles you, puppet on wire
And will cut you hard, like a knife.

Time is a fleeting curse to life.

Words at Work: Fantasy

Image via WikipediaThe King held his long sword on high.
He spoke fiercly to them one and all,
"To the front, boys, to live or die,
And tonight we sup in Asha's hall!"

Gleefully, they ran across ground.
Men and horses clsoing for kill.
All of their din created a sound,
To heavens and earth it did fill.

Light on keen blade of shining steel,
Helms polished to a mirror bright.
The blood did pour and pain did feel
those young boys who went to the fight.

Little they new how blood would run,.
War it seemed now never much fun.

Words at Work: Geography Duet

Image by lubright via Flickr

Pebble
Small, insignificant
Rolling, stumbling, gathering
Stone, speck, peak, slope
Standing, towering, living
Ponderous, majestic
Mountain

Plains
Open, infinite
Rolling, undulating, breathing
Grassland, sea, canyon, wrinkle
Plunging, falling, delving
Deep, wide
Valley

Words at Work -- Understanding

This is part of my words at work program -- or words I write whenever things are slow -- hahaha! -- at work. This is the form of a rondel.

Image via WikipediaAnd in the pouring rain she stood,
again not knowing where to turn.
She did not know or ever learn
that all the crying did no good.

He would not treat her like he should,
no matter how for him she'd burn.
And in the pouring rain she stood,
again not knowing where to turn.

His rage she weathered as she could,
his brand of love she could not earn,
his reasons she could not discern
and she knew she never would.

And in the pouring rain she stood.

Diamond Necklace

Time

Borrowed, lost

Fleeting, running, slipping

Clock, watch, garbage, debris

Trashing, ignoring, giving away

Misused, squandered

Wasted

Image by Old Shoe Woman via Flickr

Old

Vulnerable, wise

Watching, teaching, knowing

Mortal, fraility, immortal, vitality

Running, lauging, failing

Rash, indestructible

Young

Life

Precious, hopeful

Breathing, waking, being

Presence, survival, departure, absence

Stopping, leaving, ceasing

Empty, total

Death

Forgive-Forget

Forgive
Repentant, supplicant
Releasing, embracing, absolving
Sin, mistake, rememberance, recollection
Dismissing, clearing, escaping
Peaceful, dismissal
Forget

Love-Hate

Image by Amodiovalerio Verde via Flickr

Love
Sexual, emotional
Giving, receiving, wanting
Kiss, heart, fist, brawl
Fighting, screaming, damning
Blind, unforgivable
Hate

Temperature Extremes

Hot
Warm, intense
Burning, searing, melting
Sun, heat, clouds, wind
Chilling, shivering, chattering
Bitter, crystalline
Cold

A knight

Image via Wikipedia

Knight

Righteous, strong

Fighting, jousting, feasting

Honorable, loyal, important, noble

Ruling, leading, deciding,

Just, royal

King

Depression

Image by Ehsan Khakbaz via FlickrI'm here today
with nothing to say
And come what may
I will stay here
So that my family can be near.
They are the reason, it is clear,
To hold the hand of hurt
That my will wants to assert
Upon my self with all the blame
To the sorrow that has no name.

Coming tide

Ebb
And flow
To and fro
In and out
and in and out
Crash the waves
And plash the waves
Rising falling swaying
Pushing and pulling hoping praying
Filling emptying opening closing
Back forth and back and forth
Moving left and moving right
Rocking and rolling
Inspire and expire
In and out again
Ebbing and

Flowing

Pic: flikr, fernando

Winter at Work

Image via Wikipedia

Snowflakes land on my eyelashes,
And I am dazzled by color splashes.

Sparks of light dash upon the flakes,
Creating white calm winter lakes.

The torrent of light suffuses my eye,
Making me wish I had tears to cry.

They would only turn to ice this day,
But cannot carry my sadness away.

I walk in the gentle fall of snow,
Knowing not where I want to go.

The snow falls to chastize my sadness,
And I frown, content in my madness.